Life-as-theatre provides a very large stage, and, because of its universality, an empathetic audience. Cullen Douglas takes control of one excruciating year of his life by sharing it in a painfully honest one-person show. He takes us from his wife's first labor pains through the first year of the life of his oldest son, Gabriel. The birthing sequence is familiar and funny--a good workout for a personable and comedic actor--but soon takes a tragic turn with the realization that Gabriel has Down syndrome. Douglas describes the early months as a time of living on the edge and being afraid to look down--hence the title. Although its subject matter is devastating, especially to those of us who are or who would be parents, the show never becomes depressing. Despite the despair, anger, guilt, frustration, and fear that Douglas describes, the likeability factor is in full sway. Without self-praise or mock heroics, this bereaved father manages to take us along on a journey through a tenuous time with enormous humor and charm that's not only therapeutic but also life-affirming. We also get a précis on Down syndrome without having to listen to a stuffy professor. Unlike so many solo performances that depend on our vital interest in, say, how someone lost his virginity at 13, this is about something very real, slightly miraculous, and finally cathartic.
 

Back Stage West - Madeleine Shaner

I would like to offer my enthusiastic voice of support to Cullen Douglas and his play, AFRAID TO LOOK DOWN.  Cullen has written this play from the fabric of his life and built it from a myriad of autobiographical moments that have the reality and texture of good journalism.  Because he is a skillful dramatist/actor, with a healthy sense of the absurd, we are also treated to some great laughs of recognition.  At first a tale about impending parenthood as he and his wife await the birth of their first child, it becomes a story about the realities of parenthood as they discover their child was born with an 'extra' chromosome - known as Down syndrome.  Only a small percentage of us have to grapple with a birth 'defect' in our lives, but the power of this play for me was in it's eloquently simple invitation to remember fundamental connections - like God, or fate, or nature throwing us 'curves' we can only stumblingly react to.  As it unfolded I found AFRAID TO LOOK DOWN truly funny and touching - by evenings end, I was achingly moved.  Cullen has made the joys and trials of one particular father and his family universal - in doing so I think he has created a real theatrical 'gift' for our collective hearts.

Cullen and Rachel Douglas were pregnant, at least she was. And like any new parents, they looked forward to their baby and parenthood. Cullen has fashioned a solo play based on his experiences as a Lamaze coach and as an expectant father, and the unanticipated aftermath of the birth of their first child. The Douglases had rejected any pre-testing, even refusing to ask the sex of their baby before it was born. It made the whole process more exciting, they believed. To deal with the color issue - what color blankets, baby outfits and room decoration, they opted for bright primary colors that didn't shout boy or girl. When Gabriel was born unexpectedly two weeks prior to the anticipated date, both parents were delirious with excitement. Cullen relives this on stage and his performance is more of a re-living of the moment than an acting job. When the baby actually comes into the world, he is obviously a very special child. In fact he is diagnosed as having Down syndrome, a condition that causes dysfunction in several areas of the baby's development. The descent from bliss is what Douglas' play "Afraid to Look Down" is all about. Guilt, sorrow, anger and fear become their housemates, tearing at their marriage, inflicting blow upon blow on their lives. Both these parents are remarkable people and have obviously re-built their lives and handled the cards they were dealt. Cullen's play tells of the highs and lows of the first year, and the ultimate victory of the beloved child's first birthday. Far from being a downer, the play is a song of joy, sung by an extremely likable fellow who looks at life from both sides now. His humor and patience with a situation that has no escape clause are affirmations of life that could only come out of crisis. The story is very affecting, told simply and with terrible honesty.

 - Beverly Press

Afraid to Look Down - is remarkable in that he (Douglas) deals with the conflicting feelings of sorrow, pain, guilt and joy as he and his wife live through the first year of their son's life - bargains with God turn to true spiritual acceptance. Affable writer/performer Cullen Douglas has a fine sense of humor and easily displays authentic emotions...

LA WEEKLY - Tom Provenzano

Brave - and Brilliant!

Cullen Douglas' performance is riveting in its honesty. He captivates his audience with his naked humanity. His personal story resounds with universal truths because he shares it in its entirety. We leave his performance sated, and grateful, and charged with insight and perspective. Bravo! The medium of the 'one man show'  emerges from its too often yawning brethren, and explodes with the vibrant truths of a true storyteller with a story to tell. I have performed on and off Broadway, I have been audience to countless productions of every genre - thirty years in the theater - I have rarely left the house so enriched as after experiencing "Afraid to Look Down." In sharing your tarnish, your gold shines brightly. Literally, you shed light.

 Exquisite.  Thanks for sharing, Cullen Douglas. Your show is a treasure.  * * * *!

 Grant Albrecht

writer/actor - CSI: NY

I thouroughly enjoyed your performance last evening.  You are a very gifted actor and father.  You portrayed exactly the sadness, anger, despair, confusion, fear, and JOY that so many of us have experienced.  I was afraid that seeing "Afraid to Look Down" would be hard, but it was a wonderful experience.  Thank you!

Dana Young

Button up.  Your heart is about to go exploring in your chest.  Mine is still molving from watching this wonderful actor reveal a father's love, warts and all, for this most wonderful child.  Sometimes it's just a privilege to be in the theatre...this is one of those times.

Michael O'Neill

"...One of the most personal and soul-revealing solos I’ve ever seen."

-Bob Dutton

"- I was not sure what to expect and was so impressed by the cathartic roller coaster you took me on… it caused me to think and reflect which is what in my opinion good theatre should do."

-Jeff Hartlieb

"I don’t know when we’ve experienced such a powerful performance..."

-Donne Bitner

What a gem!!!  What an amazing performance...powerful and poignant.  Not to be missed!  So great to meet you last night after your wonderful performance in Tucson (AZ).  You are a real treasure!  What an inspiration to see someone out there advocating without righteousness and anger...but with so much sensitivity and integrity.  We are always so thankful to meet people like you with so much in common, and we sincerely hope to meet you again one day...

Kindra and Seth Hadley